Blog – Nurturing the Nurturer

Nurturing the Nurturer postpartum doula insights One of the most challenging situations for families when adjusting to a new baby is the disruption of sleep and knowing how to manage it. My aim is to support you through this challenging time. I believe there are 6 key factors to establishing a positive, manageable and developmentally appropriate sleep routine for your baby; A positive Sleep Environment An age appropriate feed, play, sleep routine Recognising tired signs Age specific awake times Engaging active play Consistency The aim of this is to educate, guide and support parents towards their goals with their children and to create a positive environment for parents and children. Parenting can be one of the most challenging but also one of the most rewarding experiences in your life. Through education, support and guidance I aim to build on your confidence with your parenting journey. Sleep Benefits of Sleep • Sleep is beneficial for both brain development and growth. • Mental and physical health are dependent on sleep • Our muscles need sleep to relax, rest and repair • The immune system needs sleep to develop – this means that there is a decreased risk of infection with adequate sleep. • Basically, everything is better with more sleep. Sleep and Settling The aim of settling your baby and using a progressive waiting responsive settling method is to teach the baby to become an independent sleeper. It is to build trust and good communication between the caretakers you, and the baby. We all need to learn the language of the baby- the difference between a cry (distressed) and a grizzle (communicating) and how to respond to both. Together we will be able to introduce different settling techniques that will comfort your baby enough for them to be able to put themselves to sleep. The aim is to have a relaxed baby who feels good about sleeping independently. This encourages long-term good sleeping patterns. Sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture. Remember that you’re giving the baby the gift of sleep- and imagine how it must feel to be tired all the time (maybe this part isn’t so hard to imagine). Sleep deprivation is unhealthy for not only babies, but also mothers, fathers and for overall family relationships. 4 different types of cries Neh – hunger. Eh – upper wind (burp) Eairh – lower wind (gas) Heh – discomfort (hot, cold, wet) Owh – sleepiness. Sleep Cycles Play these sounds on the internet, it will not take long to recognise your baby’s different cries even though it seems like they are all the same at the moment. There are quite periods and active periods during sleep. These are known as sleep cycles. Some children call out when they wake (between cycles) and need assistance to settle again. The aim is to teach your baby to link these cycles independently. Average sleep cycle Birth – 8 months 20 – 30 minutes 1 – 6 months 30 – 40 minutes 6 – 12 months 40 – 60 minutes Adults 90 minutes Babies will sleep better if they are not over tired but also need to have stimulation during their awake time to be ready for sleep. Therefore, it is important to know the ideal timeframe for a babies age but also to know their tired signs Tired Signs younger babies * Changes in facial expression * Jerky movements * Clenched fists * Fixed Stare * Grimacing * Sucking * Crying * Rigid limbs * Frowning * Grizzling * Hiccups * Back arching Older babies * Signs of disinterest or boredom * Decreased concentration * Temper tantrums * Rubbing eyes * Red eyes * Loss of balance * Red eyebrows * Crying / squealing * Yawning Always be guided by your baby’s cues and put him or her to bed. Try not to exceed awake times and avoid putting the baby to bed too early. Give them appropriate awake time, and also follow their cues Feeding • Feeding should be separated from sleeping- so that the feeding does not become an unsustainable sleep association • Feed the baby as soon as they wake up from their day sleep or within 15 minutes of waking • Allow them 45 minutes to finish feeding (milk; either breast or bottle). Babies who are on solids, offer them half an hour after they have finished their milk feed (except for dinner where it is the other way around). For older babies allow 1 hour between their milk feeds and solids. • At 10 months, solids should be given first, instead of milk, at all feed times The importance of the catnap The catnap helps to eliminate overnight-unsettled periods/waking periods for babies. It assists in eliminating over-tiredness and irritability in older babies. It is usually the most difficult, but also the most important sleep of the day as it sets babies up for a good night sleep and gives baby a time of rest. The catnap is usually 45 minutes. As the baby gets older: The number of milk feeds decrease and the length of time between sleeps increases. Babies don’t usually drop sleeps as such, but their awake times extend and there is less time available for the additional sleeps Sleep Associations As you may or may not know, there are many positive and negative sleep associations. A sleep association is simply something that comes right before or as the baby is going to sleep. These ‘positive’ sleep associations are things that you can easily do to prepare the baby for sleep. The baby will begin to learn to link these associations with sleep. This is a learnt behaviour; it is not innate. Perhaps you are using positive sleep associations already but are not aware that is what you are doing. Positive sleep associations • Wrapping the baby or using a Sleeping bag when appropriate • Using a Toy/Blanket in the cot • Making sure the Room temperature is consistent • Using a Dummy (if appropriate) • Utilising Relaxation music • winding down the baby (reading a story, singing a song to the baby before going to bed) • dark room Problematic sleep associations are things that may help you put the baby to sleep, but they are not sustainable. Long term, these associations are not beneficial to you or the baby. Negative or problematic sleep associations • Feeding to sleep, only if it is a problem • Patting to sleep. Rocking in arms, sometimes we need to do this • Rocking in pram and falling asleep. Co-sleeping • Driving around in the car to get or keep the baby asleep Together our aim is to teach baby to settle and re-settle themselves to sleep. Not for the baby to teach us how to settle them and re-settle them to sleep Consistency Do not underestimate the importance of being consistent. This gives both you and your baby predictability and a positive guide to the day, and expectations of each other. All adults involved in your baby’s care need to be on the same page, parents, grandparents, nanny’s, childcare etc. when we as adults present differing information from the other carers (or even if WE change what we are doing), our baby/child becomes confused and do not understand what is expected of them. This is where positive sleep associations are good for different settings, the baby/child knows it is sleep time when these happen wherever they are. Be positive – babies feed off our emotions if we are not confident then our babies will not be confident. • Often babies will improve overnight first, the days may remain challenging Play Play is a very important part of your baby’s life. It is fantastic for the parent-infant interaction. Omit too much stimulation overnight – quiet play/activity – massage, book reading, ‘night time equals quiet time’ Give your baby more time on the floor during their awake times- it facilitates gross motor development and exercise. For young babies 5-10 minutes of tummy/mat time will be enough to burn energy and make them tire • Be sure to give your baby kicking and nappy off time • Walk in the pram each day – going for a walk will make you both feel better • Cuddle, and sing to your baby during awake time • Make sure that you don’t spend babies entire awake time in the pram, the car, and highchair- give them stimulation • Playtime occurs after feeding during the day only A final word • Be confident and committed to your decision – you are giving the gift of sleep • All babies learn at different times and different stage (just like adults), be parietal and consistent • Most baby’s night time sleep will improve before their days, but stick at it as the days and nights are linked. As the nights continue to improve so will the days *Although a feed, play, sleep routine can be implemented with a newborn, I wouldn’t recommend trying to establish a strict routine with this age group. Newborns require frequent feeds and are better suited to a demand feed routine